First Entry - Getting My Shit Together

2023-11-12T22:06:55Z

After a few close calls with an impending psychotic breakdown, I have decided to take my therapist's advice seriously about journaling. Tomorrow is the day I am officially supposed to try to start changing a few things with full seriousness. I'm not sure if I should continue self-sabotaging tonight or not, just because it's not Monday yet. On the topic of self-sabotaging - it seems my maladaptive coping skills have damaged my netherregions somehow. Who knew it's not a very good idea to be constantly intoxicated and self-gratifying to remain distracted but fail miserably? I hope we are allowed to be ourselves here without getting flagged... it is a journal, after all.

Every single day, I can feel myself becoming more and more like him. And it makes me wonder - did he encounter the same aches I am encountering? Reality continues to feel like remembering the dream after just waking up. - like being teleported to a different version of myself, living in a different world, in an alternate universe. Everything feels the same but different, and things will never be the same again. Hard to remember and understand who I am and who I was before all this happened.

I have so much work to catch up on. I have surprisingly grown to quite like my job - most likely has a lot to do with the support of my employer and colleagues. I must stop procrastinating.

I'm thinking I should post here every day, summarize my day, or even post tidbits of my literary work. That is supposed to be the point of this, apparently. It's so strange - as someone who should be very knowledgeable about this domain, I really do not understand yet how journaling can benefit my mental health. Let's hope I find out, shall we?

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The Devil Came Through Here

First Entry - Getting My Shit Together